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Do You Have to Be Unkind for Success?

All humans want to succeed at something, but who wants to be unkind for success in order to gain and maintain it?

Greetings. May everyone reading this article experience something nice on this day. Just by starting the day with orange juice, tea, coffee, or some other beverage; you quite possibly are on your way.

Let us begin with a few statements from Joel Gascoigne, founder and CEO of Buffer (Buffer.com), as we develop this article on  unkind for success.

How I try to lead When Everything is Changing – By Joel Gascoigne

This is not to review the whole article by Joel Gascoigne, but to share his thought process of observation. By using it for the kindness topic that we will delve into soon, you will most likely come to the well thought out conclusions of what is being experienced in particular environments today.

“Communication architecture creates context:  I try to have the communication architecture in place to put me in the best position to understand a lot of the context and to draw patterns between challenges in different areas.”

“Reflection: I aim to notice challenges arising in areas, and spend time reflecting on them in a way that others might not have the viewpoint or time to do so.”

It is appropriate to add one more additional quote from another of Joel’s article before we move to scenarios of experience.

Do you share bad news?

“Do you guard your team from some of the tough decisions and risks of your company? “

Unkind for Success = Dog-Eat-Dog Environment

What does dog-eat-dog mean for an environment? It means there is a competitiveness and desire to win at all costs. It will promote ruthless and unkind behavior to succeed.

“Let neither praise or criticism change you…” – Steve Jobs

  • Success 1.the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.
  • Synonyms Achievement, fame, triumph.- Reference Dictionary.com
  • Kind
  • 1. of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person:
  • A kind and loving person.
  • 4. Mild; gentle; clement – Reference Dictionary.com
  • Unkindness
  • Adjective 1. lacking in kindness or mercy; severe.
  • Unsympathetic or cruel
  • 2. (archaic or dialect)
  • (Of weather) unpleasant
  • (Of soil) hard to cultivate – Reference Dictionary.com
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Steve Jobs Quote

“Let neither praise or criticism change you when you’re doing what you were created to do.”

Kind or Unkind for Success?

Scenario 1: You observe two (named John and Jane) people who just met and exchange the proper greeting established for the culture? From there the doors are opened to either accept or decline whatever the offer may be.

Scenario 2: You observe John later. John has a different person approach him (with a different culture background), and so John ignores the greeting altogether. It does not matter what the offer is to John. It is just not coming from a source he feels would be accepted. (A clique?)

Scenario 3: You observe Jane (sensitive heart) give a greeting to all cultural backgrounds, but then is periodically teased because of it. (Hopefully you do not observe malicious teasing)

In the three scenarios above, where do you see kindness? Do you see any unkindness?  Can you elaborate  in vivid detail how to help in the scenarios where needed?

* If you do not know how to do something what is the best way to find out?

* When you are striving to be the best that you can be, how do you treat people? ALL people?

* When you see someone being treated in an unkind manner how does it make you feel?

People will Imitate Kind and Unkind Acts

“When you fight with monsters for too long, you become a monster” – Billy Bob Thornton

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”― Friedrich Nietzsche

Since people often learn from watching others, overall what do you in your heart of hearts want them to see?

How about these pleasing thoughts?

  • People who treat everyone with dignity.
  • A person who recognizes fairness
  • An individual when faced with negative pressure still keeps his dignity  by bestowing it upon the one experiencing the unkindness.
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What does Kindness have to do with Love?

(1 Corinthians 13:4) In the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures explains “ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up,

One reference of love and kindness states this:

“Love is long-suffering and kind.” It puts up with unfavorable conditions and wrong actions of others, doing so with a purpose, namely, to work out the eventual salvation of those doing wrong or of others involved in the circumstances, as well as to vindicate, finally, Jehovah’s sovereignty. Love is kind, no matter what the provocation may be. Roughness or harshness on the part of a Christian toward others would not accomplish any good. Nonetheless, love can be firm and act in justice in behalf of righteousness. Those having authority may discipline wrongdoers, but even then, they are to employ kindness. Unkindness would bring benefit neither to the unkind counselor nor to the one doing unrighteousness, but it could separate that one even farther from repentance and right works. it-2 p. 277 Love –[Source JW.ORG]

Choosing Kindness for Success

Most people today know what kindness is and desire for it to be shown to them at ALL times when they encounter someone. What is in a prompted and returned greeting? Well, in observation and experience, it shows just how much respect or value a person places in you. In a dog-eat-dog world, the view is sometimes perpetrated to speak to ones who can only help and maintain your success. What an unkind world this would be if everyone felt that way? Now of course there are priorities the more people you have in your charge. Still, we make sure that it is not a selective disregard of a person (business)  due to the reasons we covered in the scenario.

THERE are still valid reasons to pursue kindness in business dealings no matter what, because the success that is reaped will involve an overall good relationship with people of varying backgrounds. Is this not good for business?


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